The Azzara Family Wants Your Blood

Long Island hospitals are desperately low on blood, and have been since last Fall. My son, Tony, has decided to do something about it as part of the community service project he must lead in order to achieve the Boy Scouts' highest rank, Eagle. It's a project to build awareness, consideration and face-to-face recruitment of which any marketer would be proud. 

Even if you're terribly squeamish about giving blood, please steel yourself and come out to make a difference to the community. And my son. (Plus, we're planning an after party!) If you don't live on Long Island, please forward this page to someone who does.

Tony and about a dozen teenage volunteers have recruited at supermarkets, train stations and in this photo, at Maria Regina Church, where the blood drive will take place on March 29. Here are the details: 

Time and Date: Sunday, March 29, 8 am - 1 pm

Location: Maria Regina Church, in the school auditorium, 3945 Jerusalem Ave., Seaford, NY, 11783.

Sign up on this page. Or call Tony at 516-732-7264. 

At 17 I Learned The Truth ...

During our triplets’ first year of life, I remember thinking that the parenting job couldn’t possibly get any more physically demanding. A couple times a month, at least, we would color-code more than a dozen bottles, pack them in a cooler with other food items, pack two or three dozen diapers, the triplet stroller, three high chairs, etc., all into the Previa minivan we called “The Jellybean” and high-tail it to Staten Island from Merrick, Long Island, to visit family. In other words, just leaving the house was an exhausting exercise, including the necessary pre-launch logistical analysis.

“Sure,” I used to think, “it will undoubtedly get emotionally crazy when they have boyfriends and girlfriends and all the other frenzies that teenagers acquire. But at least they will get around on their own.” But not at 17, and not on Long Island. Not when one girlfriend (Meagan) lives 31 minutes east (according to Mapquest) and the boyfriend (Emmet) is 1 hour and 6 minutes distant. They all met at St. Anthony’s High School, which draws from all corners of “the Island,” as the natives call it. And I used to think their elementary school friends about 12 or 13 minutes away by car in Amityville (yes, that Amityville) were a hardship.

So last weekend all three kids decided they had to see “The Dark Knight”; Michael with his friends in Amityville; Tony with Meagan in Oakdale; and Ariel with Emmet in Quogue (the theater was actually in Westhampton). Three theaters a total of 100 miles away from each other, all on the same night.

It started with a frustrated call from my wife as I headed home on the train, a little earlier than usual. Tony had missed his train to Oakdale, so she drove him there and came home to find Ariel in need of a ride to a theater in Sayville. This started the freaking out, because she didn’t know how to find that theater. I assured her I’d be home in time to drive them there. Down off the train and rushing home by 5:50 pm, I jumped right into the van (now our third Honda Odyssey) and started driving, only to discover that my destination had changed: We were headed for “The Halfway Point” (THP). The Halfway Point is a 7-Eleven parking lot off Exit 48 of Route 27 (a.k.a. Sunrise Highway). It’s more or less halfway between our house and Emmet’s, and is two exits PAST Oakdale. Where my wife had just dropped off Tony. We routinely use THP to transfer my daughter or Emmet, so that each parent only has to drive halfway. We’ve been to his house only once or twice.

As we drove, Ariel texted with Emmet and we determined that she’d be returned to THP for the return trip at approximately 11 pm. Well, that meant it was kind of silly for Meagan’s mom to put Tony on the 11:14 pm Babylon train to Wantagh, as originally planned, with us now expected to be just a mile or two away at about the same time. We might not even make it back in time to pick him up from the train station. And when you get right down to it, Amityville is along the same route, so it made sense to pick up Michael. Only those boys were already disbursed and their activities underway. We had to get change-of-plan word to them and receive acknowledgement.

I instructed Ariel to call Tony, whose movie hadn’t yet started. This led to a nonsensical verbal fight in which I had to intervene. I never understood what they were fighting about, but they seem to do a lot of it. In any event, it was settled and we would pick up Tony at 11 at Meagan’s house. We dropped Ariel without further incident and went straight to nearby Viva la Vida, a terrific Zagat-rated Mexican restaurant we found one time after dropping Tony off at Meagan’s. We drowned our tension in beer (me) and Sangria (Tonia) and texted with Michael, who was already at the movie.

Could we pick him up at 11:30 at his friend Nicole’s house instead of 10:30? He thought that would be awesome; staying out later is always better when you’re 17. But we wanted him to clear it with her parents. After the movie, Dad.

After a nice long dinner (service was slow and we liked it that way for a change), we had time to fill the van with gas (ouch!), go shopping, and prop our feet up at home for a few minutes of mindless escapist television sitcom. Mike texted that 11:30 was fine with Nicole’s parents.

At 9:50 Tonia announced it was time to leave. We have the same fight every time. It only takes 30 minutes to reach THP at that hour of the night, and we knew in our hearts Ariel would arrive there a little late, so 10:30 was the earliest possible departure time. The next 40 minutes was Hell cause I wouldn’t budge from my calculations. At 10:30, we’re off!

First stop, Meagan’s house, at 10:55, where our headlights find Tony waiting on the lawn in a chaise lounge chair with his beloved. They say goodbye and we’re on the road again.

We arrive at THP at 11:05. Ariel arrives at 11:35. Well, look at the bright side. When you have triplets, the parents don’t get a lot of alone time with any one of them. Tony wanted to watch Scrubs but we had quality time instead. We chatted about college visits. It wasn’t so bad. Except we had to text Michael to let him know we’d be seeing him more like midnight … poor Nicole’s parents! We made the transfer and headed back West.

Amityville was a breeze; Michael tiptoed out of the house to the car at 11:55.

We walked in the door at home sweet home about 12:10. The kids were all bright and cheery from their evenings of relaxation and fun. They wanted a late-night snack. The parents required heavy doses of analgesics and a good night’s sleep. We needed the rest of the weekend to fully drain the tension away. Turns out there’s a physical toll on parents, even when you’re kids reach 17.

Good News: Next week we have three road tests scheduled!

The Old College Try

They’re 17. They’ll be seniors in high school in September. And just like any normal teenager, college is the last thing in the world they want to think about as they plan their dates, their camp outs, their summer concerts, parties and vacations. It’s like pulling teeth to get them to think about it at all.

Does anyone have a successful technique to share for getting (normal, not freaky smart) kids motivated to explore college choices?

Athens Snow Jam

Athens had more snow than in anyone's living memory the morning our "Shadow Tour" departed for Rome. The Shadow Tour is made up of the parents of St. Anthony's High School students, and the students themselves are in an orchestra touring Athens and Rome during their Presidents Week break. As luck would have it, we actually made it out even though most other flights were canceled!

But we made it to Rome! So all's well that end's well. Only we're still having a great time in Rome.

The Rules (of Life)

From the profound to the mundane, our family made up these rules during the first 5 or 6 years of living with triplets. After the first few (which Dad made up and insisted on) the rules and their language were openly discussed and voted on. The triplets had a voting bloc - but I reserved veto rights. We welcome suggestions!

1. Everyone smiles all the time.
2. Stop . . . and think.
3. Don’t holler at each other.
4. Sing the right words or don’t sing at all.
5. Be still and look at anyone who is talking to you.
6. No hurting.
7. Always obey your mom and dad.
8. No crying for no reason.
9. No fighting about where you sit.
10. Always speak in a sweet voice.
11. Never force anyone to eat.
12. Don’t break anything.
13. Don’t touch anyone who is stretching.
14. Speak clearly so you are understood.
15. No lying.
16. Eat fruit after every meal.
17. Always sit in your seat.
18. No sulking.
19. No bossing anyone around.
20. Don’t show food in your mouth.
21. Don’t walk around with sharp things, like a knife or scissors, in your hand.
22. Pass sharp things handle first.
23. Don’t take anything from strangers.
24. Always chew with your mouth closed.
25. Don’t touch breakable things without adult supervision.
26. Treat everyone the way you want to be treated.
27. Don’t break people’s concentration.
28. No threatening people.
29. No yelling at kids when they bring a problem to you.
30. Never carry a CD that's not in its case.